She slept only a little that night, and was awake and walking by daylight, sending out her laran to spy out a dwelling of men. Once in the village she sought out a man who had horses for hire.
"I must have a fast horse at once. I am of the Sisterhood of the Sword, and I am on an urgent mission for King Carolin; I am needed at once at Hali."
"And I am His Majesty's chief cook and bottle-washer," jeered the stableman. "Not so fast, mestra; what will you pay?" And Romilly saw herself reflected in his eyes, a gaunt scarecrow of a woman in a tattered tunic and breeches, barefoot, her face savagely clawed and bleeding where the mountain-cat had swiped at her, the unkempt hawk riding on her shoulders.
"I have been through the war and worse," she said. She had dwelt among animals so long she had forgotten the need of money. She searched the deep pockets of tunic and breeches and found a few coins forgotten; she spilled them out before him.
"Take these as earnest," she said, not counting them, "I swear I will send the rest when I reach a hostel of the Sisterhood, and twice as many if you will find me a pair of boots and some food."
He hesitated. "I will need thirty silver bits or a copper royal," he said, "and another as token that you win return the horse here-"
Her eyes glittered with rage. She did not even know why she was in such need of haste, but she was sought for at Hali. "In Carolin's name," she said, "I can take your horse if I must-"
She signalled to the nearest horse; he looked fast, a great rangy roan. A touch of her laran and he came swiftly to her, bowed his neck in submission. His owner shouted with anger and came to lay his hand on the horse's lead-rope, but the horse edged nervously away, and lashed out, kicking; circled, and came back to rub Romilly's head with his shoulder.
"Leronis..." he whispered, his eyes widened, staring.
"That and more," said Romilly tartly.
A young woman stood watching, twisting her long apron. At last she whispered, "My mother's sister is of the Sisterhood, mestra. She has told me that the Sisterhood will always pay debts incurred by one of them, for the honor of them all. Let her have the horse, my husband, and-" she ran into the house, brought back a pair of rough boots.
"They were my son's," she said in a whisper, "Rakhal's men came through the village and one of them killed him, cut him down like a dog, when they seized our plow-beast and slaughtered it for their supper, and he asked them for some payment. Carolin's men have done nothing like this."
Romilly slipped the boots on her feet. They were hillmen's boots, fur-lined, soft to her toes. The woman gave her half of a cut loaf of bread. "If you can wait, mestra, you shall have hot food, but I have nothing cooked...."
Romilly shook her head. "This is enough," she said. "I cannot wait." In a flash she was on the horse's back, even while the man cried, "No lady can ride that horse - he is my fiercest-"
"I am no lady but a Swordswoman," she said, and suddenly a new facet of her laran made itself clear to her; she reached out, as she had done to the mountain cat, and he backed away before her, staring, submissive.
The woman cried, "Do you not want saddle-bridle - let me bind up your wounds, Swordswoman."
"I have no time for that," Romilly said, "Set me on the road to Hali."
The woman stammered out directions, while the man stood silent, goggling at her. She dug her heels into the horse's back. She had ridden like this, with neither saddle nor bridle, when she was a child at Falconsward, just learning her laran, guiding the horse with her will alone. She felt a brief, poignant regret; Sunstar! Sunstar, and the nameless unknown horse she had ridden away from the battle and turned loose to wander in the wild. She had surely been mad.
The horse moved swiftly and steady, his long legs eating up the road. She gnawed at the hard bread; it seemed that no fine meal had ever been quite so delicious. She needed fresh clothes, and a bath, and a comb for her hair, but nightmare urgency drove her on. Orain, in the hands of Lyondri! Once she stopped to let the horse graze a little and rest, and wondered, What do I think I can do about it?
The Lake at Hali was long and dim, with a Tower rising on the shore, and pale waves lapping like stormclouds at the verge; at the far end Carolin's army encamped before a city whose walls were grey and grim. And now she was sure enough of her laran to reach out and feel for the presence of the man she had known as Dom Carlo, and to know that he was her friend, king or no. He was still the man who had welcomed her, protected her among his men even when he knew she was a woman, kept her secret even from his dearest friend and foster-brother.
She made her way through the staring army, hearing one of the Swordswomen call her name in amazement. She knew how she must look to them, worn and gaunt, her tunic and breeches filthy, her hair a ragged and uncombed mop, the cat-claw marks still bloody across her face, riding a countryman's horse with neither saddle nor bridle. Was this any way to present herself to a king?
But even as she slid from her horse, Jandria had her in a tight embrace.
"Romilly, Romy, we thought you were dead! Where did you go?"
She shook her head, suddenly too exhausted to speak.
"Anywhere. Everywhere. Nowhere. Does it matter? I came as swiftly as I could. How long since the battle? What is this about Orain being held hostage for Lyondri?"
Alderic and Ruyven came to stare, to clasp her in their arms. "I tried to reach you, with Lady Maura," Alderic said, "but we could not-" and Jandria cried out, "What happened to your face - your earring-?"
"Later," she said, with an exhausted shake of her head, and then Carolin himself was before her; he held out both his hands.
"Child-" he said, and hugged her as her own father might have done. "Orain loved you, too - I thought I had lost both of you, who followed me not as a king, but as an outlaw and fugitive! Come in," he said, and led the way into his tent. He gestured, and Jandria poured her a cup of wine, but Romilly shook her head.
"No, no, I have eaten almost nothing, I would be drunk if I drank half a cup now - I would rather have some food," she said. The remnants of a meal were laid around the rough table inside, and Carolin said, "Help yourself." Jandria cut her a slice of meat and bread, but Romilly laid the meat aside - she knew she would never taste it again - and ate the bread, slowly. Jandria took the rejected wine and washed the deep claw-marks on her face.
"Why, how came you to have these? The healer must tend them, a cat's claw-wounds always fester; you could lose the sight of an eye if they spread," she said, but Romilly only shook her head.
"I hardly know. Some day I will tell you all I can remember," she promised, "But Orain-"
"They have him somewhere in the city," Carolin said. He had been pacing the tent but now he dropped wearily into one of the folding camp-chairs. "I dare not even enter to search for him, for they have warned me . . . yet it might give him an easier death than what Lyondri plans for him. Rakhal's army is cut to pieces; most of them have made submission to me, but Rakhal himself, with a few of his men, and Lyondri, took refuge here . .. and they have Orain captive; he has been in their hands since the battle. Now they are using him to parley-" she could see his jaw move as he swallowed and said, "I offered them safe-conduct across the Kadarin, or wherever they wished to go, and both their lives, and to leave Lyondri's son safe in Nevarsin, and have him reared as kinsman at my court, with my own sons. But they - they -" He broke off, and Romilly saw that his hands were trembling.
"Let me tell her, Uncle," Alderic said gently. "I sent word I would surrender myself in exchange for my father, and go with them where they wished across the Kadarin to safety, to whatever place they should appoint for refuge; I also made offer of copper and silver-"
"The long and short of it is," Jandria said, "that precious pair have demanded that Carolin surrender himself to them for Orain's life. I, too, offered to exchange myself - I thought Lyondri might agree to that. And Maura said she would give herself up to Rakhal, even go with him into exile if that was what he wished, so that Carolin might have his paxman. But-" her face was grim, "Let her see what answer they sent us."
Ruyven fumbled with a little package wrapped in yellow silk. His hands shook dreadfully. Carolin took the silk from him and tried to unwrap it. Maura laid her hands over his, stroked them for a moment, then opened the bloodstained cloth.
Inside - Romilly thought that she would retch-was a calloused finger. Clotted blood caked the end where it had been cut from the hand; and the horror was, that one finger bore a copper ring, set with a blue stone, which she had seen on Orain's hand.
Carolin said, "They sent word - they would return Orain to me - a little piece at a time - unless I surrendered myself to them, and made complete submission of my armies." His hands were shaking, too, as he carefully wrapped up the finger again. "They sent this two days ago. Yesterday it was - it was an ear. Today -" he could not go on; he shut his eyes, and she saw the tears squeezing from his eyes.
"For Orain I would give my life and more, and he has always know it," Carolin said, "but I - I have seen what Rakhal has done to my people - how can I give all of them over to him and his butcher Lyondri?"
"Orain would let himself be cut into little pieces for you, and you know that-" Maura said, and Carolin lowered his head and sobbed. "Lyondri knows that, too. Damn him! Damn him waking and sleeping-" His voice rose, almost in hysteria.
"Enough." Maura laid a gentle hand on his, took the horrid silk package from him and set it aside.
Jandria said grimly "I swear, I shall not sleep nor drink wine till Lyondri has been flayed alive."
"Nor I; but that will not save Orain from his fate," said Carolin. "You come when we have lost hope, and are almost ready to storm the city, so that Orain may have a death that is swift and clean. Yet somehow we must find out where they are keeping him, and he has managed to shield the city against laran. But we still have one sentry-bird, and we thought, perhaps - we could fly her; she has not been manageable since the battle, Ruyven could not handle her."
Maura said, "And Ranald was killed in the final charge, where we thought you too had died. But Ruyven said you were not dead, that he would have felt you die - and the Swordswomen could not find your body. But we knew not where you had gone. Yet perhaps, if we can find out in what part of the city they have kenneled for their filthy work - if we enter the city, they have threatened, they will start to cut him to pieces at that moment, and we may have what is left by the time we have searched long enough to find him." Her face twisted with dread and horror. "So we cannot search at random, and - and somehow his leronyn have guarded the city - but perhaps they would not notice a bird."
"They would see a sentry-bird at once," said Romilly. "Their leronyn would be aware of just such a plan."
"That is what I told them," Ruyven said, "but it seemed a chance - if you can handle Temperance-"
"Better that I should send Preciosa," said Romilly. "She would not come into the army with me, but flew away - but I can call her." Had she ever believed that she would not use her laran again? It was, like her body and her life, at Carolin's service. No land could survive with a mountain-cat like Lyondri at its head. No; the cat killed because it was its nature from hunger or fear, but Rakhal and Lyondri for power alone.
"That might do," said Carolin, "They might think her only a wild hawk - the Gods know there are enough of them in the country round Hali, and you might spy out where Orain is being held, so that we can make directly for that place, and they will have to surrender Orain or kill him quick and clean."
Somewhere a horn blew; Carolin started and cringed. "That is their accursed summons," he said weakly, "It was at this hour - just before sunset-that they came on the other two days, and while I sit here trying to summon courage to storm the city, Orain -" his voice failed again. Again the horn sounded, and Carolin went out of his tent. A common soldier came toward him, with insolent bearing. In his hand he bore a little packet of yellow silk. He bowed, and said, "Carolin, pretender to the throne of the Hasturs, I have the honor to return another portion of your faithfully sworn man. You may take pride in his bravery."
He laughed, a jeering, raucous laugh, and Alderic leaped forward.
"Wretch whom I will honor by calling dog, I win at least rid you of that laugh-" he shouted, but Jandria flung her arms round him.
"No, Deric, they will only revenge themselves on Orain."
The soldier said, "Do you not want to see what token they have sent you of your paxman's bravery and devotion?"
Carolin's hands were shaking. Jandria said, "Let me," released Alderic and unwrapped the horrid packet. Inside there was another finger. The soldier said, "This is the message of Lyondri. We weary of this play. Tomorrow it will be an eye; the next day, the other eye; and the day after that, his testicles. Should you hold out beyond that, it will be a yard of skin flayed from his back."
"Bastards! Sons of bastards!" cursed Carolin, but the soldier turned his back and, to the sound of the trumpet again, walked within the gates of the city.
"Follow him with laran!" commanded Carolin, but although Ruyven, Maura and Alderic all sought to do so - Romilly could sense it, tried to follow the man with her special senses - it was as if her body rammed against an impregnable wall of stone; as soon as the man was inside the gates, she could not reach him. Carolin was shaking with horror, unable to even shed tears; Maura held him tightly in her arms.
"My dearest, my dearest, Orain would not have you surrender."
"Avarra protect me, I know that - but ah, if I could only kill him quickly-"
Inside the tent again he said with implacable fury, "I cannot let them blind him, geld him, flay him. If we can think of nothing this night, tomorrow at dawn I storm the city with everything I have to throw at them. I will send word that no citizen will be harmed who does not raise hand against me, but we will search every house till we find him; and at least there will be a swift end to his torment And then the tormenters will come into my hands."
Yet Romilly knew, watching him, that Carolin was a decent man; he would do nothing worse, even to Lyondri Hastur, than to kill him. He might hang him, ignobly, and expose his corpse for a warning, rather than giving him a nobleman's swift death by the sword; yet Lyondri would still be in better case than Orain, should it go on so far. Carolin sent word quietly through the army to make ready to storm the gates at dawn.
"Can your hawk see well enough in the dark to lead us to where Rakhal hides with his torturers? I do not think he did this by himself, alone-" he gestured weakly at the little packet.
"I do not know," said Romilly quietly, but while they spoke, a plan had been maturing in her.
"How many men watch the city walls?"
"I do not know; but they have sentry-birds all along the wall, and fierce dogs, so that if anyone tries to sneak into the city by breaking the side gates - we tried that once - the birds and the dogs set up such a racket that every one of Rakhal's men is wakened and rallies to that spot," he said despondently.
"Good," said Romilly quietly. "That could hardly be better."
"What do you say-"
"Think, my lord. My laran is of small use against men. And you say Rakhal's leronyn have guarded the city against our laran - laran such as your men use. But I fear no bird, no dog ever whelped, nothing that goes on four legs or flies on a wing. Let me go into the city alone, before dawn, and search that way, my lord."
"Alone? You, a girl-" Carolin began, then shook his head.
"You have proved again and again that you are more than a girl, Swordswoman," he said quietly. "It is worth a risk. If it fails, at least we will have some notion before dawn where to strike first, so they will have to give him a quick death. But let the night fall first; and you have had a long ride. Find her some proper food, Jandria, and let her go and sleep a little."
"I could not sleep-" Romilly protested.
"At least, then, rest a little," Carolin commanded, and Romilly bent her bead.
"As you will."
Jandria took her to the tent of the Swordswomen, then, and found her food and fresh clothing.
"And washing-water and a comb," Romilly begged, so Jandria brought her hot water from the army's mess fires, and Romilly washed, combed out her tangled hair - Jandria, who helped her, finally had to cut it very short - and climbed gratefully into the clean soft underlinen and fresh tunic and breeches. She had no boots except the countrywoman's, but she put clean stockings on her feet under them. What a relief it was, to be clean, dressed, to eat cooked food, to be human. . . .
"And now you must rest," Jandria said, "Carolin commanded it. I promise you, I will have you called at the midnight hour."
Romilly lay down beside Jandria on the blanket roll. The light of the waning moon came into the tent, and Romilly thought, with a great sadness, of Ranald lying beside her when last the moons were full. Now he was dead, and it seemed so bitter, so useless. She had not loved him, but he had been kind to her, and she had first accepted him as a man, and she knew she would remember him and mourn for him a little, forever. Jandria lay silent at her side, but she knew that Jandria, too, mourned; not only because of Orain's peril, but for Lyondri Hastur who had once been to her what Ranald was to Romilly herself, the first to rouse womanhood and desire. And she could not even think of him with the sweet sadness of the dead; he had gone further from her, become a monster - she put her arms around Jandria, and felt the woman shaking with grief.
There has been so much sorrow, all useless. In my pride, I too have brought grief on those who have done me no harm. I will do my uttermost to save Orain from the fate they have measured for him; it looks hopeless, but not all porridge cooked is eaten. But whichever way it goes, if I am alive at dawn I shall send word to Father and Luciella that I live and they must not grieve for me.
Jandria's sorrow is worse than mine. Orain, if he dies, I will mourn, because he was my friend and because he died nobly for Carolin, whom he loves. But who could mourn, or have any feeling except relief, if Lyondri can do no more evil?
She held Jandria's sobbing body in her arms, and at last felt her drop away into sleep.
She had slept for an hour or two, when Jandria shook her shoulder softly.
"Get up, Romilly. It is time."
Romilly splashed her face with cold water, and ate a little more bread, but she refused wine. For this she must be perfectly alert. Carolin was waiting for her in his tent, his face composed and grim. He said, "I hardly need tell you that if you free Orain - or save him any more suffering, even if you must put your own dagger through his heart - you may name your own reward, even if you wish to marry one of my own sons."
She smiled at the thought; why should she wish to do that? She said, speaking as if he were the Dom Carlo she had first known, "Uncle, I will do what I can for Orain because he was kind to me beyond all duty when he thought me only a runaway hawkmaster's apprentice. Do you not think a Swordswoman and a MacAran will risk herself as well for honor as from greed?"
"I know it," Carolin said gently, "but I will reward you for my own pleasure, too, Romilly."
She turned to Jandria. "The boots will make too much noise. Find me a pair of soft sandals, if you will." When Jandria had brought a pair of her own - they were too big, but Romilly bound them tightly on her feet - she tied her hair into a dark cloth, so that no stray gleam would give her away, and smeared her face with dirt so that it would not shine in a watchman's lantern. Now she could go noiselessly into the city, and she feared no sentry-bird nor dog. At this hour, certainly, all but a few men would be sleeping.
Alderic said in a tone that brooked no denial, "I will go with you to the side gate."
She nodded. He too had a touch of this laran. She held his hand, silently, as they stole on their soft shoes away from Carolin's tent, making a wide circle away from the gates. Somewhere a dog barked; probably, she thought, sending out a questing tendril of awareness, at a mouse in the streets; but she silenced him anyway, sending out thoughts of peace and drowsiness...
"The gate will creak if you try to open it, even if you can quiet the sentry-birds," whispered Alderic, and without a word, made a stirrup of his hand as if he helped her to mount a tall horse; she caught at the top of the small side-gate and climbed to the top, looking down on the sleeping city by moonlight.
She sent out her thoughts to the sentry-birds, sending out peace, quiet, silence . . . she could see them on the walls now, great ugly shapes with their handlers, like statues against the sky. A disturbance and they would scream, awakening all of Rakhal's armies....
Peace, Peace, silence . . . through their eyes she looked down at the moon-flooded streets, which lay dark, with only, now and again, a single lighted window . . . one after another she reached out to investigate them. Ordinary laran was clouded, but reaching into the minds of animals, she could feel silence . . . behind one lighted window, a woman struggled to give birth to a child and a midwife knelt, holding her hands and whispering encouragement. A mother sat beside a sick child, singing in a voice hoarse with worry and weariness. A man wounded somewhere in the war tossed with the fever in the stump on his leg....
A dog snarled from a side street, and Romilly knew it would burst into a frenzy of barking . . . she reached out, silenced it, felt its bewilderment, where had the disturbing one gone... ? She crept silently past.
Now she was far from the walls, the sentry-birds silent. Would they have thought to guard the rest of the city against laran? Or had it stretched the few leronyn at Rakhal's command, to guard the gates, so that they were open inside the city?
Carefully, ready to retreat at a moment's touch, she reached out . . . Orain had little laran, she knew, but he was not head-blind and she could feel him somewhere; he lay wakeful with the pain of his injuries . . . she must not let him feel her presence; he might be monitored by Rakhal's or Lyondri's sorcerers. Yet she moved, softly, nearer to him, block by block of the ancient city, and as she stole quietly through, no dog barked, no mouse in the walls squeaked aloud. Silence, silence, peace on the city. Horses drowsed in their stables, cats left off chasing mice and dozed before hearths, restless babies quieted under the powerful spell; from one end to the other of the ancient city of Hali, no living soul felt anything but peace and silence. Even the woman in labor fell into a peaceful sleep, and the midwife dozed at her side.
Peace, calm, silence.. ..
Outside a silent house near the opposite wall - she had traversed the whole city in her entranced spell - Romilly became aware of the two minds she had touched before. Orain; Orain lay within, somnolent under the sleep-spell that she had put on all things, but through it she could feel pain, fear, despair, a hope that perhaps he could somehow manage to die. Carefully, carefully, she thrust out a tendril of thought.. ..
Keep silence, do not move or stir lest someone be alerted when you wake. . . .
The door creaked, but so still was all within that the sleeping man outside Orain's door did not stir. Beyond him, in an inner room, she sensed the stony wall of Lyondri Hastings thoughts - he too was deeply troubled. The dreadful thing is that Lyondri is not a cruel man by nature. He will not even watch the torturer who does his beastly work. He does this only for power!
His thoughts seemed to quest out, seeking an intruder . .. Romilly quickly submerged her own mind in that of a cat, sleeping across the hearth, and after a moment Lyondri Hastur slept... the watchman drowsed...
Even if 1 kill him too swiftly for him to cry out - Romilly's hands tightened on the dagger in her belt, his death-cry even in thought - will waken Lyondri! But perhaps he would stop at killing Orain with his own hands. . ..
She must. There was no help for it. Then she realized that the watchmen was more deeply asleep than she, with her soothing consciousness extended throughout the whole city, could have managed; and felt another mind touch hers. Then there was a soft movement behind her, and she whirled, alert, dagger in hand-
"Don't kill me, Romilly," Caryl whispered. He was wearing a white child's night-gown, and his fair hair was tousled as if he had come from his bed. He reached out and gripped her in a great hug ... but not for one moment did the spell relax. . ..
"Oh, Romilly, Romilly - I pleaded with my father, but he would not hear me - I cannot bear it, what they are doing to Orain - it - it hurts me too - have you come to take him away?" His whisper was all but inaudible. If Lyondri Hastur stirred in his sleep, and touched his son's mind, he would think him gripped in nightmare.
And Lyondri Hastur did this where his son could know of it, feel it.
"He said it would harden me to the necessity of being cruel sometimes, when the good of the realm demands it," Caryl whispered, almost inaudibly, "I am - I am sickened - I did not think my father could do this-" and he struggled to hold back tears, knowing that would waken his father too ...
Romilly nodded. She said, "Help me quiet the dogs as I go..."
But she could not take Orain sleeping. Silently, she stole past the sleeping watchman.
The torturer. He is worse than any brute; his mind is an animal's mind, otherwise I could not so easily enspell him....
"Orain-" she whispered, and her hand went out to grip his mouth silent against an involuntary cry. Remember you are dreaming this. ...
Orain knew instantly what she meant; if Lyondri wakened or his slumber lightened, he would think he wandered in dreams. . . . Softly, moving as noiselessly as Romilly herself, he drew himself to his feet. One of them was bleeding through a rough bandage. She had not seen the cut-off finger. But she fought to suppress her horror, to keep the sleep-spell strong, as he moved softly across the room, forced his feet, wincing, into his boots.
"I would not leave that man alive-" he whispered, glancing with implacable hate at his jailer, but he sensed, so close they were in rapport, Romilly's reason for not killing him, and contributed a single wry thought:
When Lyondri wakes and finds me escaped while he slept, what he will do to the man will be worse than your dagger through his heart; for mercy I should kill the man! But 1 am not kind enough for that.
The smell of the air told Romilly that dawn was nearing; she would soon have to contend with dogs waking all over the city, with the sentry-birds on the wall rousing, and if they did not waken at the proper time, that too would alert their handlers; they must be free of the city before then. She took Orain's shoulder. His hand, too, was wrapped in rough bandages, and there was a patch over the cut-off ear which had bled through. But he was not seriously harmed, and came silently after her. Now they were outside the house, and she came aware that Caryl was following them on noiseless feet, in his nightgown.
"Go back!" She whispered, and shook the boy's shoulder. "I cannot be responsible!"
"I will not return!" His voice was stubborn and set "He is no longer my father; I would be worse than he is, to stay with him." She saw that great silent tears were rolling down his face, but he insisted, "I can help you quiet the guards."
She nodded and signalled him to steady Orain, who was limping. Now she must quiet pain, keep the tumult of his thoughts and emotions under her own, and . . . yes, she must let the birds wake normally, with ordinary cries, elsewhere in the city, while keeping those near here safely entranced until they had somehow made their escape.
They had reached the side gate. Caryl set a hand on the latch and the lock gave way and swung open. There was a horrendous creaking from the broken lock, a sound of tortured metal and wood that rent the sky; everywhere, it seemed, there was an uproar from the walls, but they dropped all caution and ran, ran hurriedly through the camp and the forming army, ran toward Carolin's tents . . . and then Carolin caught Orain in his arms, weeping aloud in relief and joy, and Romilly turned and hugged Caryl tight.
"We're safe, we're safe - oh, Caryl, we could never have done it without you."
Carolin turned a little and opened his arms to clasp Romilly and Caryl in the same hug that encircled his friend.
"Listen," Orain said, "The racket - they know I am gone."
"Yet our army is here to guard you," said Carolin quietly. "They shall not touch you again, my brother, if our lives answer for it. But now, I think, they will have to surrender; I will not burn my people's city over their heads, but I will spare any man who makes his submission and swears loyalty to me. I think Rakhal and Lyondri will find few partisans this morning." He felt Orain flinch as the embrace touched the bandage over his ear.
"My brother, let me have your wounds tended."
He brought him into the tent, and Maura and Jandria hastened to attend Orain. While the hacked fingers and ear were bandaged, Carolin sat blinking back tears in the lamplight
"How can we reward you, Romilly?"
"There is no need of reward," she said. Now it was over, she was shaking, and glad to feel Alderic's arm supporting her, holding a wine-cup to her lips. "It is enough that now my lord Orain knows-" she did not know what she was going to say until she heard herself saying it, "that even though I am only a girl, I have no less courage or worth than any boy!"
Orain's arms swept out and he hugged her close, knocking the bandage loose and bleeding all over her. "Sweetheart, sweetheart," he whispered, holding her tight and crooning to her like a child, "I did not mean - I could not want you that way, but always I wanted to be your friend . . . only I felt such a fool-"
She knew she was crying too as she hugged him and kissed his cheek. She found herself in his lap like a child, while he stroked her hair. Orain held out his free hand to Alderic and said, "They brought me news that you had offered to exchange yourself for me, my son - what have I done to deserve that? I have never been a father to you-"
"You gave me life, sir," said Alderic quietly. "I owe you that, at least, since you have had nothing else from me of love or respect."
"Perhaps because I have not deserved it," Orain said, and Caryl came to his knees and hugged Orain too, and Romilly who was still in his lap. Carolin said, finding his voice through thickness in his throat, "You are all here and safe. That is enough. Caryl, I swear I shall be a father to you, and you shall be brought up with my own sons. And I will not kill Lyondri if I can help it. He may leave me no choice, and I cannot now trust his oath or his honor; but if I can, I shall let him live out his life in exile."
Caryl said shakily, "I know you will do what is honorable, Uncle."
"And now if you are all done with your love-feast," said Jandria, waspishly, "I would like to bandage this man up again so he will not be bleeding into our breakfast!"
Orain grinned at her and said, "I'm not hurt as badly as that. The man knew his business as well as any army surgeon. He made it quick, at least. They told me, though-" and suddenly he shuddered, and said, shaking, "You came just in time, Romilly."
He took her hand in his undamaged one. He said gently, "I cannot marry you, child. It is not in my nature. But if Carolin gives leave, I will betrothe you to my son-" and he looked up at Alderic. "I can already see that he is willing."
"And nothing would please me better," said Ruyven, coming to smile at Alderic.
"Then that's settled," Orain said, smiling, but Romilly pulled loose in outrage.
"And am I to have nothing to say about this?" she demanded, and her hand went to her ear where the earring had been torn loose. "I am not free of my vows to the Swordswomen until the year has ended. And then-" she grinned a little nervously at Alderic and Ruyven, "I know now that however good my laran, it is still not properly trained, or I could have done better with it. It betrayed me on the battlefield, when Sunstar was killed... I came near to dying with him because I did not know how to keep myself clear. If they will have me-" she looked from Ruyven to Alderic, "I will go to a Tower, and learn what I must do to master my laran so that it will not master me. And then I must make my peace with my father and stepmother. And then-" she smiled now, waveringly, at Alderic, "Then, perhaps, I will know myself well enough to know if I want to marry you - or anyone else, my lord."
"Spoken like a Swordswoman," Jandria said approvingly, but Romilly hardly heard, Alderic sighed, then took her hand.
"And when that is done," he said quietly, "I shall await your decision, Romilly."
She clasped his fingers, but only for a moment. She was not sure; but she was no longer afraid.
"My lord," she said to Carolin, "Have I leave to take your kinsman to the tent of the Swordswomen and find him some breeches?" She looked at Caryl, who flushed with embarrassment and said, "Please, Uncle. I - I cannot show myself to the army in a night-gown."
Carolin laughed and said, "Do as you wish, hawkmistress. You have been faithful to me, and to those I love. And when you have done your duty to your laran and to your parents and to the one who would marry you, I shall expect you to come back to us in Hali." He turned and took Maura's hand, saying, "I pledged to you that we would celebrate our Mid-summer-festival in Hali, did I not? And the next moon will see us at Midsummer. If it will please you, Lady - I had thought to make the hawkmistress's marriage at the same time as her Queen's. But we can wait for that." He laughed aloud and said, "I am not so much of a tyrant as that. But one day, Romilly, you will be hawkmistress to the reigning king as you were in exile."
She bowed and said, "I thank you, sir." But her mind, ranging ahead, was already seeking the walls of Tramontana Tower.
She rejected her noble life and embraced the freedom only a man could claim. She was Romilly, who spurned humanity for its evils and jealousies and lived among the beasts of hill and forest. There was war in the lands of Darkover, but Romilly wanted none of it. Yet, male-garbed or beast-minded, she was also human. And duty to her own kind pointed her to the ultimate decision...